15 April 2013

"unrelated poetry side stuff"

I don't really write poems outside whatever current project I'm working on. I have a research based approach to making poetry, which means that when I'm working on a manuscript I'm working on it all the time & not burning energies (& words) on unrelated poetry side stuff. I don't think I'll ever be the kind of poet who publishes a "collected poems" at any point... there just aren't enough to "collect".

When I'm working on something I cut away all the fat & focus my energies on that something. I don't have the stamina to be writing prolific amounts of poems on wide ranges of concepts.

All that being said, I was in oregon last week... my first visit since burying my grandmother. & though the hybrid memoir I'm working on now (see: missoula.) doesn't involve her, I found myself jotting out a little missive on staying in her house now that she's gone:

sleeping in my grandmother’s house after she has died

she who 
made bell shaped
cookies & stars 
with sugar frosting

she who
made three types
of lasagna—
her daughters unable 
to agree on a meat

now pauses
in a maple box
crucifix balanced
prone on the top

I steal her sweaters 
though  I can’t remember
when last I saw her
wear them

from my existence
positioned three thousand
miles away & across 
a country

her absence seems
merely my neglect
in calling to say

she made me a cake
the last time I saw her alive
in the freezer six months
I thaw it now
& eat it.

copyright 2013, natalie raymond.