30 December 2017
spent my day thinking about what resolutions I wanted to make for 2018... each year I list out all the things I'm thinking about for the coming rotation & carve them down into "resolutions" for me to work toward... for 2018 I'm not sure what I want, I'm not sure what life I want for myself, but I'm starting with these ideas.
22 December 2017
BONES (full poem/film) from Natalie Raymond on Vimeo.
My first excursion into the overlapping space between poetry & filmmaking is this experimental short called BONES. I wondered: how can we bring poetry from its flat life on the page into the dynamic world of visual experience? I imagined a kind of music video for poetry. BONES is the result of these imaginings.
This short will likely be the last time I am *in front* of the camera. As I was editing this piece, over a year ago, I was almost unable to watch the clips I was in. Instead of being a kind of "actorish" modesty I felt like I looked uncomfortable. Many months later I had my aura photographed & one thing that was mentioned to me was that my aura read as me being unsure of if I want to be photographed or not. The photographer told me: you're not totally comfortable in front of the camera.
This is true. In the months since I've been thinking about this, turning it over in my mind. Really, all the time I spent fancying myself an "actor" was forced. I was never comfortable in front of cameras or on stages, but I was able to conceal this by not being myself, by trying to become the character. Of course you cannot ever really become a character, there are always still shards of you inside. When I watch myself in my acting projects I feel acutely aware of the viewing experience. You can see me being watched in my body language. What a liberation it is to now be the one doing the watching!